Smarties for Breakfast

“Start the day with…” what was the TV advert for Readybrek or Shreddies or whatever it was… “lock up hunger until lunchtime”. Today I started the day with a rainbow pillathon*. I had blue, then white, then two blue-and-white, one green-and-white, and three (yes, THREE) yellow-and-white capsules, then an orange multivitamin. If I jumped around, without raising my core temperature of course, then I would rattle.
Now I wait. Wait for half and hour before I can have my second breakfast. One hour, well 56 minutes to go. Drugs to be absorbed and to start their journey in my blood stream before I busy my stomach with real food. It’s lucky (a) I did A-level maths, and (b) have a PhD, and (c) am not colour blind, otherwise  I wouldn’t stand a chance of getting the right pills in the right place at the right time.
Nine pills at my last count. So I give myself an imaginary gold star if they are done in the right order . May be an imaginary certificate or “Golden Time” if I’m consistently good.

*A pillathlon doesn’t have quite the same physicality and intensity of a marathon or triathlon or heptathlon, or require the mental focus of a biathlon. Nonetheless, it requires the ability to tell the time, be patient, and count pills of different colours. Something for London 2010 perhaps. I’ll get on to the Olympic Committee right away.
Smarties for Breakfast
Vicky Galbraith April 2011


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